Cattywampus

Cattywampus (adj.)

Pronunciation: kat-ee-wom-puhs
Origin: Southern American English 

1. Positioned askew, crooked or out of alignment; not straight 
2. In disarray; turned sideways; off course 
3. A state of life in which plans have unraveled, expectations have shifted, and nothing is operating according to the original instructions.

 
Ellen Skrmetti, comedian and bestselling author, returns with a collection of hilarious essays about what happens when life goes sideways—or, if you're Southern, when things go cattywampus.

Such as when you’re living your life, raising your kids… and then suddenly you’re raising your parents too. When your hormones go haywire and you’re navigating “The Change” with no warning… and at the same time your daughter is navigating her own "changes." (You also have to navigate that fact that nobody in the South calls things by their real names.) When you’re forced to confront the possibility that you haven’t always seen everything clearly, and you need to course-correct, stat.

The hilarious essays in this book include:

• I Wanted It Done Right (and Other Reasons I Wrote My Own Obituary) 
• Hustle, Hustle, Pray
• Yes Ma’am, No Ma’am, Have You Taken Your Meds Ma’am? 
• When You Bring a Zebra To The Tailgate
• From Beer Pong to Mah Jongg… Pastimes in Later Life

This laugh-out-loud collection will entertain, inspire, and remind you that even when life seems out of control, God is in control.