All Toddlers Are Scorpios

"Johanna Gohmann is one of the funniest idiots I know. She has always made me laugh, and this book is no exception."—Jack McBrayer, actor, 30 ROCK

"Charming, funny, and most importantly: cathartic. Off the top of my head, I can think of approximately 400 parents I would buy this for." —Glenn Boozan, NEW YORK TIMES bestselling author of THERE ARE MOMS WAY WORSE THAN YOU

"For centuries, mankind has looked to the stars for guidance. It makes sense that we would turn to them to explain why our toddler is having a full-blown exorcist-level meltdown over the shape of the pasta he has eaten a hundred times before without incident. All Toddlers Are Scorpios is a perfect book for any parent or caregiver who could use a laugh—and something else to blame!"—Nicole Tersigni, author of MEN TO AVOID IN ART AND LIFE

“This book is the perfect gift for anyone in the delightful throes of parenting a toddler. I wish I had All Toddlers Are Scorpios to give me a late night laugh between picking out tiny Styrofoam pieces stuck in the shag rug (my toddler wanted to make it snow inside) and sweetly snuggling before getting my boob side-punched.”—Lennon Parham, actor, writer, director, PLAYING HOUSE and SOMEBODY SOMEWHERE

"Equal parts astrology, comedy, and therapy for anyone who’s ever hidden in their own bathroom. Absolutely brilliant."
 —Ophira Eisenberg, comic, writer, and host of PARENTING IS A JOKE podcast

“I was planning on parenting according to a carefully considered set of religious and philosophical beliefs. To hell with that, now I got this book!”—Jen Spyra, author of BIG TIME: STORIES and former writer for THE LATE SHOW WITH STEPHEN COLBERT