The Hardest Hardest Job

A guide to navigating the emotional experience of caring for and raising children with significant disabilities, from a therapist and disability parent. 

Amanda Atkins-Griffith is one of the millions of parents raising a severely disabled child. She has boundless love for her son Asher—she is his biggest cheerleader, his fiercest advocate, and she accepts him fully.  But there are many days where the work of caring for a child who requires significant and meaningful support to get through the day, and who will likely not be able to live fully independent adult life feels like more than she can handle. For a long time, she kept these feelings to herself—afraid people would question her love and acceptance of her child. But as a therapist, she knows how important it is to bring hard feelings to the light.

In The Hardest Hardest Job, Atkins-Griffith makes space for the “dark side” of disability parenting, without seeing this as diametrically opposed to boundless love for your child. Amanda takes parents through the different challenging phases in their child’s life, covering everything from the frustration of school advocacy to navigating your child’s adolescence to setting them up for their future without you. Then she turns the lens to the parent’s world, helping them navigate the fraught territory of marriage, identity, and how to manage non-disabled siblings. She coaches parents through letting go of expectations, guilt, and control; embracing your child for who they are and where they are; facing the feelings of grief and loss and disappointment. And admitting that things are sometimes—often—more than you can handle. The goal is to make room for all of you feelings so you don't lose yoursel—and so you can be a more present caretaker and better advocate for your child.